“[Gathered with her family and the wedding guests in her mother's cottage, the bride said to her stepbrothers, When I was a little girl, you said] We have a little sister and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for in marriage? If she is a wall [discreet and womanly], we will build upon her a turret [a dowry] of silver; but if she is a door [bold and flirtatious], we will enclose her with boards of cedar. [Well] I am a wall [with battlements], and my breasts are like the towers of it. Then was I in [the king's] eyes as one [to be respected and to be allowed] to find peace.”
Song of Solomon 8:8-10 AMPC
At first glance the reader may be repulsed that such descriptive words are in the Holy Bible of all places. Scandalous right? Lol but upon closer scrutiny by the Holy Spirit who wouldn’t let me leave this chapter and specifically these verses, I relented because I’m not the boss of me. I’ve read the verses in a few other translations and settled on the amplified because of the clarity it gives to certain words. We should always view scripture through the lenses of the Holy Spirit. He alone knows why certain scriptures are included. Nothing is by accident with God. As I shared with the Bible study a few weeks ago, God has masterfully ensured that every topic for every century and culture finds relevance and answers in His Word. Nothing is excluded and no topic off limits. That’s why we will be without excuses before Him.
Depending on the translation, it appears a conversation is being carried out with the brothers of this young woman. Apparently she’s much younger but is being considered as a future bride of king Solomon. I’m guessing she’s wife number seven hundred.🤦♀️ The back and forth is shedding light on their plan to make sure that she is protected until the proposal. But one thing has been made abundantly clear, she has to behave in a certain manner to receive the protection they’re willing to provide for her. This speaks volumes to me in a very real way because of the promiscuity that has permeated our culture today. The wall or protective covering that once was evident in families has been removed.
Instead of fathers and brothers protecting their sisters and daughters, they have become part of the group that daily uncovers the innocence of these children. Mothers are not exempt from this observation either. Some have allowed this abuse to occur because of their own brokenness or selfishness. Boyfriends have raped and molested countless children, children are being trafficked by their own fathers and relatives. How sickening and sad. And to the young women that are rebellious and refusing to submit to their covering, they too are learning some hard lessons. It’s a vicious cycle and one that demands our attention and prayers.
The brothers in this scripture in essence are saying that if their sister is willing to live a chaste lifestyle, and not be rebellious and promiscuous, that they are prepared to be a wall around her-Implying that cooperation is needed. Not even God, as powerful as He is, can help us without our consent. We consent to be loved and protected. We submit to His offer of redemption and a better way of life. Our human will is controlled by us. We have to surrender that will in order for it to be used negatively or positively. To be held or taken against our will is seen as a crime. God is not into lawlessness.
All parents should be committed to being a wall around their children. All fathers and brothers should be committed to being a wall around their daughters and sisters. And sisters and daughters should feel safe submitting to their protection. I neither had a husband or father for my daughter. But what I did have and wouldn’t trade for anything was and is my Heavenly Father who told me that He was and is my husband. Isaiah 54:5. I remember exactly where I was and the time of day when He spoke those words to me. My daughter was five years old. I was attempting to get her father to get to know her, I thought this would be good for her. It wasn’t. But I wanted to give it a shot before closing that chapter of our lives.
For thirty five years her Heavenly Father taught me through dependence on Him how to be a wall of defense for her. When she was away from me, I never worried because her Abba was always on guard. Her innocence was protected until the day I gave her away in marriage because she was submitted to the protection. Notice what the young woman’s brothers said. “If she is willing to keep herself pure, then they’ll be a wall of protection around her. I have no idea where her father was, the Bible doesn’t elaborate on that, but it’s obvious that her brothers cared about her well-being. They were prepared to stand up for her honor And provide for her the choicest dowry of silver. But if she was rebellious and promiscuous, her life would be like being kept in an enclosure of boards and timber. She wouldn’t be treated with respect and honor, she’d be like a prisoner and an outcast. We’re not speaking of someone who has been violated here, but of someone who scorned honor and chose rebellion or a loose lifestyle.
I understand their sentiment. On April 10, 2021 I was honored to give my daughter to my son. She was young, innocent and naive to a lot of things. But because she stayed behind the wall of protection she was able to mature and prepare herself, spiritually, emotionally, socially and financially for her new life. In the short months they have been married, she has blossomed and matured into a wife and partner that has made this wall proud. Don’t neglect or be too eager to push your daughters out the door if they’re willing to remain under your covering. And even if they move out of your home as singles, we can still be a wall. Parents, when we have the respect of our daughters especially, we can still be the earthly protection they need as long as they continue to live godly lives even in their own spaces. My daughter was away from home for 6 years because of school and I never stopped being who God called me to be for her. A wall of prayer, support and protection.
If we are willing to do all this for our children how much more will their Heavenly Father do who loves them much more than we do? He is the indestructible Wall. The One that cannot be breached. No enemy forces can penetrate His protective hedge. He never sleeps or takes a nap. His eyes are everywhere. I depend totally on Him in every and all circumstances. I was limited in what I could do but His limitless supply of support, wisdom and guidance was more than enough. I submitted and consented to be carried and walled in, Sheri benefitted from my obedience.
Parents, brothers, we are keepers of the wall. Fathers, don’t drop the ball! Don’t participate in the abuse. Be the wall around your children. Single moms you are not alone, not if you have a Heavenly Father. Not if you have brothers who know the Lord Jesus Christ. We are our brothers' keeper despite what Cain said. We’re supposed to look out for the well-being of each other. I know there are men who were never taught or saw godly examples of what it means to be a guardian of the opposite sex. They have been eyewitnesses to the abuse, and disrespect of their own mother by their fathers. But this scripture and more in the Song of Songs teaches how both sexes should treat each other. The love, adoration, respect and protection the bridegroom shows for His bride and vice versa, speaks of Jesus and His Church. He sacrificed His own life for His bride/church.
Be gatekeepers for our daughters and sisters. Teach the sons and brothers how to defend the honor of young women. Young women, submit to being protected. Don’t give in to peer pressure. It makes you blend in instead of standing out. The same can be said of young men who are trying to live a holy lifestyle, but our focus is on daughters and sisters today. Listen to what the young woman’s response was to her wall.
When I was a little girl, you said] We have a little sister and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for in marriage? Well] I am a wall [with battlements], and my breasts are like the towers of it. Then was I in [the king's] eyes as one [to be respected and to be allowed] to find peace.”
The words “no breasts,” speaks of her innocence. Her youth. She now acknowledges that because she stayed behind the wall until the appointed time, that she was respected and honored in the king’s eyes or we could say in the eyes of her Heavenly Father. Behind whose walls she remained safe and virtuous and found peace instead of shame. Peace; nothing missing, nothing broken. This is our Savior’s ultimate plan for all His brothers and sisters. That we allow Him to wall us in until He’s able to present us blameless before our Heavenly Father. Spotless and pure, having been washed and cleansed from our past offenses. Won’t you consent to be walled in today? Our coronation day is soon to come. Zechariah 2:5
“For it has pleased [the Father] that all the divine fullness (the sum total of the divine perfection, powers, and attributes) should dwell in Him permanently. And God purposed that through (by the service, the intervention of) Him [the Son] all things should be completely reconciled back to Himself, whether on earth or in heaven, as through Him, [the Father] made peace by means of the blood of His cross. And although you at one time were estranged and alienated from Him and were of hostile attitude of mind in your wicked activities, Yet now has [Christ, the Messiah] reconciled [you to God] in the body of His flesh through death, in order to present you holy and faultless and irreproachable in His [the Father's] presence. [And this He will do] provided that you continue to stay with and in the faith [in Christ], well-grounded and settled and steadfast, not shifting or moving away from the hope [which rests on and is inspired by] the glad tidings (the Gospel), which you heard and which has been preached [as being designed for and offered without restrictions] to every person under heaven, and of which [Gospel] I, Paul, became a minister.”
Colossians 1:19-23 AMPC
Fathers, get to know your daughters, you’re the only one who can demonstrate to them what a godly man is like and how he should be towards them. You’re their first introduction to their Heavenly Father. If you suck at it, they’ll most likely not develop the trust that they should in Him. If you don’t affirm them, praise them or tell them how beautiful they are, they’ll fall for the first con that tells them what you didn’t. Most all parenting instructions in the Bible are directed towards fathers, that’s not an accident, it’s by design. Don’t leave it all to your spouse or baby mama. Sons and daughters need their fathers in ways that mothers cannot provide. I challenge every father of young women to step up, if you’re lacking wisdom ask your Heavenly Father to teach you by His Spirit what you need to do. Don’t ruin your daughters through neglect and ignorance.
Go deeper: Ephesians 5; 1 Peter 3:1-7, Deuteronomy 6; Ephesians 6, Colossians 3;
Written by permission of the Holy Spirit
W. Tennant
August 13, 2021