What do those words really mean? How do we speak the truth in love? The first thing we need to do is get rid of a judgmental attitude. We can’t speak the truth if it’s riddled with judgment. We must as the scripture warns consider that we too are capable of committing the very same act of disobedience. Whenever God chooses to use us to bring correction to anyone, it must always begin from a place of humility. I had to learn these principles the hard way. Experience became my schoolmaster. I didn’t have spiritual mentors, so I went through a lot of trial and error before being filled with my inner Teacher and mentor. He used the Word and life experiences to mature me. And still I have to be careful to not allow my flesh to overpower my actions.
Speaking the truth in love is the work of the Holy Spirit in us. We are quick to judge, when Jesus has warned us not to. Matthew 7. We have to watch that we don’t display an air of superiority over the ones we’re entrusted to correct. We’re not better than them, we’re just probably a little more obedient. Iron sharpens iron According to Proverbs 27:17. We’re supposed to help make each other better, not bitter. If the person we’re correcting knows that we genuinely care about them, then even if the truth stings, it will be received well. Let’s look at some examples. The Lord has given us ways in which we can reach people with the truth in a way that gets their attention. He likes using parables or word pictures that draw in the person from the heart. Whenever the heart is engaged, repentance will follow . That’s why a prayerful and discerning attitude is a winning strategy.
“So the Lord sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story: “There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle. The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.” David was furious. “As surely as the Lord lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.” Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! The Lord, the God of Israel, says: I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. I gave you your master’s house and his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more. Why, then, have you despised the word of the Lord and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife. From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own. “This is what the Lord says: Because of what you have done, I will cause your own household to rebel against you. I will give your wives to another man before your very eyes, and he will go to bed with them in public view. You did it secretly, but I will make this happen to you openly in the sight of all Israel.” Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the Lord by doing this, your child will die.””
2 Samuel 12:1-14 NLT
The Lord used a scenario David could identify with. It got to David’s heart so much so that he pronounced judgment on the individual until he realized that the story was about him. But instead of being defensive he acknowledges what he did and repented. Let’s play this out another way. Let’s say Nathan approached David and from the onset lay into him about what he had done. He would probably have been like Saul, offering excuses for his actions. But because Nathan painted a picture of what had happened, got David invested emotionally, the rebuke as well as the punishment was well received. He didn’t trick David into admitting his sin, he lovingly painted a picture of what had been done.
When Samuel approached Saul the picture was very different. Samuel was so disappointed by what Saul had done, that right off the cuff his anger and displeasure was on full display. The consequences were swift. See 1 Samuel 15. The difference between Saul and David was that David offered no excuses; he readily accepted responsibility for his actions. I don’t believe word pictures would’ve helped Saul, he was too self centered. Remember God sees the heart. He heard the truth from someone who loved him, but his repentance fell short of coming from the heart.
Jesus used the same approach when addressing the Jews and their leaders. He would share parables that got to the heart. Every parable identified a need in the human heart. He told them in such a way that every hearer could identify themselves within the stories. Every parable was shared in love, the truth angered some and saved others. But they all heard it from love Himself. If you were a farmer, rich, poor, rejected, teacher, leader, whatever category you found yourself in, you identified with His parables. Let’s look at some popular ones. We can all find ourselves intertwined in most if not all of them. And yet, these scriptures are thousands of years old. When we receive their truths His love reduces us to openly confessing our sins and receiving His forgiveness.
Parable of the Good Samaritan
Parable of the Sower
Parable of the mustard seed
Parable of the leven
Parable of the hidden treasure
Parable of the Lost sheep
Parable of the prodigal son
Parable of the tares
Parable of the two debtors
Parable of the unforgiving servant
Parable of the growing seed
Parable of the lost coin
Parable of the ten virgins
Parable of the workers in the vineyard
Parable of the unjust steward
Parable of the two sons
Parable of the barren fig tree
Parable of the faithful servant
Parable of the unjust judge
Parable of the talents/minas
Parable of the pearl
Parable of drawing In the net
Parable of the great banquet
New wine into old wine skins
All of these accounts are recorded in the four gospels. But each tells the truth in love. Those who receive its truths reap the rewards. Like David when confronted with the truth we can accept responsibility and repent, or we can be like the Pharisees and Saul, refuse to be obedient and make excuses to our peril. Jesus used parables to identify underlying heart issues. He’s still using His Word to challenge and change us. When we’re used by the Holy Spirit to bring correction to someone, it will always come from His Word. The Holy Spirit will bring the conviction. It’s not our job to convict, it’s our responsibility to lovingly show through scripture the error that the individual is living in.
Speaking the truth in love also requires us to be good listeners. We must be willing to hear what others have to say. Good listening skills also keep us from planning our responses before the person has finished speaking. We can’t truly hear if we’re planning our next move. We must be engaged thoughtfully and allow the Holy Spirit to provide the answers. I’m sharing what I’ve learned and am still learning. People can tell if we’re listening or just hearing. God will never use an immature baby Christian to rebuke or correct an elder. He sends Nathan’s and Samuel’s, Jeremiah’s and Isaiah’s. Mature men and women who themselves have been trained to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I’m just using those names as examples, you don’t need to be a prophet for the Lord to use you to bring correction. He’s used me many times through dreams or while I was in prayer, or in conversation with someone. He will never use us if we’re walking in disobedience to Him. Error cannot correct error.
The Bible says if a brother is overtaken with a fault, let’s just read it together:
“Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.” Galatians 6:1-3 NLT
And Jesus says:
“So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.”
Luke 17:3 NLT
Well said! We’re not better than anyone else. To ignore sin is to sin. To look the other way when someone is about to ruin their lives is to sin. We are to share each other’s burdens. If they repent, the Lord be praised. If they refuse and rebel, it’s on them. Ask for God’s wisdom in every situation. Never move on impulse or feelings. Rely on the Holy Spirit. And speak the truth in love.🙏♥️
Written by permission of the Holy Spirit
W. Tennant
August 16,2021